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Just This Moment

The kids are still sleeping. It is Saturday morning after all. My husband’s gone on his last business trip of the year. The house is quiet and dark except for the twinkling Christmas tree lights that I like to turn on and see in the mornings. Things are in disarray, after all we did just get through a week of school and work and living life and today is the day to pick up and clean. Right now all I can do is think about how I want to make my kids feel special when they wake up this morning. Actually, I’m hoping they sleep in a bit. They’ve had big weeks in school with all the tests/quizzes/concerts/programs and make-up assignments. It’s been an exhausting week for us all, so I want them to get rest because the busyness will start and then there’s no telling what the moods and feelings will turn out like. Right now I know they are safe and warm and comfortable in their beds and I’d like to enjoy that for just a bit.

Yesterday, moms and dads of 20 itty bitty kids woke up  thinking, “We’ve made it to Friday. Just get through this day of school and then it’s the weekend.” I’m sure they had weekends full of activity planned with Christmas less than 2 weeks away. I’m sure they thought of all the last minute Christmas shopping, baking, programs and errands they needed to get to and finish and felt a bit overwhelmed and out of breath with the madness of the season. In the craziness of a Friday morning rush to school and work, they might have kissed their children’s heads or hugged their necks and said, “see you later,” as they went out the door.  I’m sure they never imagined what would happen. I can’t imagine. I simply just can’t.

My kids walked in from school yesterday and I realized I had subconsciously been holding my breath. I held them and blinked back tears…some I couldn’t hold back and came tumbling out anyway.  We watched the news together last night, we prayed together for families of lost little ones and teachers and administrators, but all we could do was sit numbly and watch the news unfold in front of us. Seasoned news people crying openly. The President wiping away tears as he tried to speak. How could such innocence be wiped out so dismissively?

It took my mind quite a bit of time to settle down before bed, but even in that I’m pretty sure I saw images of parents and children in my sleep. I woke up with the heart pounding realization that my family is well and whole, but also that there are mothers and fathers who woke up yesterday morning and never went back to sleep last night because of the horror of their day. God, be with them. God, grant them peace. God, please bring comfort. God, oh God, oh God be their hope.

When my kids wake up, they’ll come down and find me in the kitchen. They’ll come and kiss me and I’ll hug them back. I’ll ask them how they slept and make them breakfast and we’ll talk about the day ahead. Our Saturday will start and we’ll have our  moments of laughter and frustration and fatigue but I know that each of us is dealing with what happened yesterday in our own way. I know that today we are all more grateful for another moment with each other to say. To be able to look into each others eyes and say “I love you and I’m thankful for you.” At this point in life, I realize we have just this moment…the one in front of us, so I want it to be a good one because the next one isn’t guaranteed.

Baby, you know we’re living in stolen moments
You steal enough it feels like we’re stopping time
These days are gold we’re living in stolen moments
Just grab a hold and feel your way
These days are yours and mine- Lyrics by John Hiatt

 

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16 Things For You To Know On Your 16th Birthday

May 7, 2012

Dearest darling first child,

Half your lifetime ago

When I was sixteen my world was so different from yours. I look at you and am amazed by your strength of character, self confidence, determination, intelligence, humor, beauty and grace. You are a miracle child and I am so proud to be your momma every single day. You and I have talked about things, big and and small from the time you were in my womb, but for some reason, I just want to make sure that in the next 16 years (and more) you keep these little thoughts tucked away in the back of your brain. There will be times when you doubt everything and at that point all you really need to remember is #1 below.

  1. You are a Princess. Beloved daughter to the King of Kings and Creator of the Universe- Created in His image. You are perfect and beautiful, and there is a very specific plan and purpose for your life, and NO person (man, woman or child) can change or dispute this truth.
  2. Seek God every day.
  3. Your parents/family cannot dictate the path God has chosen for you.
  4. Respect all life, people, cultures and beliefs but don’t let that sway you from your core beliefs.
  5. You will fail. It’s okay, we all do, just never give up.
  6. Always do your best.
  7. Be yourself.
  8. People will have negative things to say, but you can always choose to be optimistic.
  9. Life is good, even in the hard times, so enjoy every moment of it.
  10. You will have heartache and bad things will happen, but your outlook and response to the bad will determine the outcome.
  11. Be a good friend.
  12. Make good friends because sometimes they will have to carry you through the hard times.
  13. Follow through with your promises. Your word means something.
  14. Remember that your actions speak volumes. People see you even when you don’t know they’re looking.
  15. Your family believes in you more than anyone and we will always be your biggest cheerleaders.
  16. Laugh out loud every day.

Oh and one more for the year ahead.

17.   Always eat dessert. :)

I love you my Precious, beautiful girl,

Momma

 

 

 

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The Example

I’ve been a mom for 16 years. At this point, I feel like I know so very little other than how to make use of the breathing techniques I learned during pregnancy.

There were a couple of incidents that happened this weekend that really made me focus on my role as mom and how I present myself in public as the mother of my kids. Which brings me to the fact that I’ve recently come into being a basketball mom with my boy.

Anybody who knows me at all,  knows that I am super competitive (blame it on being the product of 5 older brothers and 0 sisters). So, I will cheer hard for my boy’s team and I will push for him to be aggressive, but there is no desire in me to be rude to any of the other children, coaches or refs. I think my role is to be my kid’s biggest cheerleader…as I believe it is every other parent’s role for their kid.

A couple of days ago at one of the games, a mom started egging on one of the older players part of our team. She was doing it to get our  FEMALE  coach frustrated. Today, several parents from the other team started making ugly comments to the refs and being just plain rude to our coach. I am pretty certain if our coach was a man, we wouldn’t have heard much of the commentary.

So 2 things I’ve noticed:
1. Parents can be embarrassing and crazy.
2. The horribly embarrassing treatment shown toward a female coach in a male dominated area.

Over and over again,  I’ve been thinking that we, the parents are setting the example for our children. We are the standard setters for our kids. We are the ones they look up to when it comes to responding to unfair situations, people and places. We are the ones who show them right behavior, etiquette and response. Granted, they have their own brains and emotional responses, but everything they see as acceptable from us…they will assume is acceptable behavior for them.

It is not and never will be acceptable for a man, woman or group of parents to be rude or disrespectful to a woman because she is the coach of a boy’s team. Our coach has taught these boys more than any man because she WANTS to coach this group of boys who otherwise wouldn’t have a chance to play in a basketball league. A group of boys from a lower income area of town that the rest of the middle to upper middle class white dads and moms wouldn’t dare take a chance on, mostly because they’re afraid of driving that far south in co springs. Our boys listen to their coach and respect her because they know that she cares about them. She’s young and wants to make a difference, but it’s hard for me as a mom and woman to see the odds stacked up against her.

Today I walked away and thought about all the good men and women in the bleachers today,( many who arrived after attending church on Sunday morning) who were beyond rude and all I could think was what do my actions and behavior tell others about me? What do my children see when they watch how I respond or behave in stressful situations? Am I being the person that I want my kids to grow up to be someday?

I’m new to being a “sport” parent and currently, I’m pretty frustrated, so how about it? How do I maneuver through this?

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I Need A Minute

Is it just me? Or is there anyone else out there that says,  “Please, give me a minute to just breathe.” The pace of my life is out of control and there are moments in my head where all I’m saying is, “I need a minute.”

Please, just a minute to process, to sit, to be calm, to not have answers, to not be the cheerleader, the official, the driver, the chef, the fixer, the teacher, the planner…just a minute to be?

I know that the kids are growing so fast, and I should enjoy this greater ride I’m on with them, but in all honesty, sometimes the ride’s just exhausting and I just need a minute.

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Bliss

I love simple things. I mean, there are just a bunch of things that bring a smile to my face. Blissful things…

The awesomeness of piecing together all the edges and corners of a puzzle.
Cuddling under a blanket watching the rain fall outside your window.
Toast with Peanut butter and honey.
Watching babies giggle/laugh…nothing short of pure joy.
How about catching the eye of an elderly person and smiling?
Big breakfasts at home on lazy Saturday mornings.
Long runs when all feels right with your body and you’re thankful to be healthy enough to run and use every muscle given by God.
Smelling lilacs through the windows in April and May
Ice cold, refreshing water straight from the tap.
Kind people.
Happy children.
People with passion and fire inside of them.
Music for the mood of the day.
Books that make me laugh out loud.
Computers without viruses
Instant Messenger/Skype/face-time
Handwritten notes
So…What’s your bliss?

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What Do You Do When You Miss Your Mom?

My mom and dad live in India. They take care of little girls who come from extreme poverty. My parents come to the US once a year and we get to see them for a few days out of the year then, but honestly…I miss my mom.

I sometimes get really sad thinking about the fact that my parents have never known my children the way they know the little girls they care for. I know that sounds really petty and selfish, and I know they have a higher calling with their ministry, but sometimes I wish I had parents who could come over for a weekend or a day to spend time with me and my kids.  I mean,  you know how it is when you only see someone once a year… it’s just not the easiest way to build or maintain relationship.

I guess the thing that’s getting to me lately is that life is getting shorter and shorter and I’m a bit afraid that age will catch up to one of us and sooner than later memories will be lost and there won’t be place for new memories to be made.

So, help me out if you have some ideas on how to deal with this.

 

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