Walk On

Yes, yes, I’m getting to it. I know I haven’t posted since last week and I’m sure all 4 of you are eagerly anticipating my thoughts.

I had quite the learning experience my friends. I wasn’t expecting to get schooled during this marathon, but, really, that’s what happened.

Training for a marathon isn’t the easiest thing as it takes so much time and so much commitment. Needless to say, I spent hours of training, some of it very painful to get to the point of feeling confident about the marathon.

Hannah and I had our splits down, we had a plan and we were on our way. Everything felt so freaking perfect…even the freezing cold weather before the start. We ran and talked about how awesome we felt, how great our bodies were doing and how different this marathon felt from the last one. Wow! Well, then mile 12 hit and my knee sent a lightning pain up to my back and down to my foot. I tried to act like I didn’t feel it and pushed through and succeeded for about 3 steps, before I had to stop in pain. Hannah smeared ibuprofen rub into my knee, but i couldn’t go, so I asked her to please go and I would catch up as soon as I could figure out what was going on with my knee.

I went through my mental check list of things that i needed to try to make the knee work again, then i went over the list again. Nothing was working, so then of course i resorted to the only thing I know to resort to when everything i know stops ceasing to be what i know…I pray. Yes, I’m sure there are others who would resort to prayer first, but I’ll admit, I’m a weak human and it was what i did when i had no other options…Is this foreshadowing? I begged God to make my knee work again so that I wouldn’t have to quit. I couldn’t stand the thought of turning back or stopping and walking off the course. I couldn’t stomach the relentless “if only’s” that would follow me around forever, so I continued praying, then suddenly… For some reason, I had this strange peace and I knew that I should start running again, so I did and I was able to run another 7 miles. Amazingly well at that…not as fast as before, but still it was a run.

At mile 19, I stopped and then it was done…there was no more running to be had by my poor little knee. Mentally I was sooo NOT done, but there was nothing I could do, when every step running resulted in shooting pains up and down my legs. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get back to running, so I walked…because stopping was not an option. In my walking I observed so much and what i observed is part of what I’m believing was a very defining life moment for me.

I finished the race with a friend that I made at around mile 22. We had a pretty uplifting conversation for the final miles of our marathon where neither she nor I were very happy about walking, but knew beyond a doubt that the walking was purposeful and necessary.

So, friends, I finished strong…albeit, it wasn’t the way i planned and there was no sprinting to the end to greet the camera’s head on, but I smiled(humbly) walking across the finish knowing that I gave it my best and the path to the finish meant as much or more than crossing the line.