Krissy Thomas

There’s this place that we pseudo athletic types (and real athletic types too) in Colorado Springs like to go called the “Incline.” It’s the remains of an old roadbed from a scenic railway. It’s not that long of a climb…just a little under a mile of straight climb…actually, it’s got an average grade of a little over 40%, but the steepest section is at a 68% grade. So, when you stand at the bottom and look up, you think how hard can it be? Well, when you realize that you will gain over 2000 ft in elevation in less than a mile…well, lemme just say, it gets your heart pumping!

Bottom of the Incline

So, the other day I “did” the incline and as I was climbing it, I was really seeking God’s wisdom for my life. I was in a mode of climbing in every sense. There were moments where everything in my body was burning from exertion, but I felt like I had to keep going. Since I’ve done this little hike a few times, I know that there’s a false peak that you see from the bottom. I also know that there are people doing this climb for the first time just trying to summit the false peak thinking they’ll reach the top.

Looking down from the false peak

I’ve been on a steady uphill climb in my life for a while now, so often when I’m in the mountains, God really uses those times to show me the life analogy . It hit me hard that day that God allows me to climb each step, sometimes with excruciating pain so that I will appreciate the true peak when I finally reach it. There have been lots of false summits in my life in the past few weeks…actually the past few years. Some of these false peaks have shown up in my life through family, work, finances, personal, even spiritual issues. Along with the false peaks have been false truths. Stuff I’ve told myself, sometimes stuff others have said about me or to me…those things have become the stumbling blocks as I’ve been trying to climb…getting in my way, setting me back, making me question why I’m climbing in the first place. Sometimes I catch myself wishing to get to the false peak so that I can then give up and quit by selling myself short and saying, “well, at least I tried.”

I’m telling you, I’m in a strange place in my life because that last climb showed me so clearly how the false summits and false truths set me back for a time and possibly even for a season, but the reality is that God is still God. The same one who created the mountains is making the way for me by allowing me to take my direction from him one step at a time. People may offer explanation or discounts or even blame, but the reality in my life is that God controls my life. I will make it to the top, I have that assurance because God’s truth will always prevail, and when I get there…the view will be so worth it!

View from the top

“Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.”
Psalm 36:6

“Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,”
Psalm 46:2

I was laying with my little boy a few minutes ago. The lights were out in his room, but light from the hallway was peeping in and bouncing off his bright blue wall. He started moving his hands around and making shadow puppets. it was pretty fascinating to watch.

i could see little creatures and shapes take form, and i kind of forgot that it was just my little boy and his two little hands creating this imagery.
then this thought crossed my mind. how often in life do i look at the shadows and get worried or afraid and not bother to figure out the sources of the shadows?

how differently would i perceive things if i started to look at the hands in motion and not the shadow puppets playing on my fears?

Sometimes I start thinking of what if’s…do you?

What if we went to church and actually cried out to God?

What if when we started hurting we talked to God instead of dialing a friend?

What if we got up every morning and spent time meditating?

What if we sometimes sat in silence instead of covering up the quiet with the t.v., itunes, conversations and everything else?

What if we were very honest with people and told them the hurts we’ve felt because of them?

What if we verbalized that we sometimes feel insecure and out of place?

What if we didn’t always grin and bear it?

What if we stopped judging people before knowing them?

What if we would listen more than we spoke?

What if we listened to the voice inside us?

What if we started believing in ourselves?

What if we trusted that the Almighty made us with precision skill to be exactly who we are?

What if we recognized that we may hurt and we may face setbacks, but in time all things work together for good for those who love God?

Just some what if’s I’m thinking of.

So there…I finished! Granted it was almost an hour after my intended finish time:).   My intensely humbling and somewhat humiliating experience left me with the understanding that I am nothing without God and I can do nothing without Him. I realized that I am NOT a super-woman and the weight of my world does NOT rest on my shoulders.  God knows that and understands my desire to be superwoman, but continues to  reassure me that He can handle my hurts, hears my frustrations and and ONLY He can carry me, strengthen me and understand me in the most difficult of steps I take. I understand that there is a purpose for what I’m going through in my life right now, but also that he didn’t make me to quit, but sometimes he demands that I walk and recognize that He is in control.

The last full marathon I ran was in November of 2008. It was a humbling experience for me. What most people don’t know is that I was walking through some of the hardest days of my life during that time as well. The race presented some huge learning moments for me…really an allegory to what was happening in my personal life at the time. I’ve really only shared these thoughts before with a handful of people, but at this point in my life, I feel it’s time to start sharing this for others as well.

So, to explain briefly, my right knee stopped wanting to work at mile 12 of the marathon…

There was really nothing I could do at that point since I was already past the turn off for the half, so I started walking and praying. I started questioning God and why He was allowing this hurt(really it was an echo of the hurt that was taking place in my personal life as well..all the why me’s, what did I do wrong, how could this be happening, etc). As I was questioning and doubting God’s love for me, I felt an intensity to be thankful for that moment and the hurt and all the stuff that came with it and to thank God for that opportunity to be there and to be His child. So, I started just mentally thanking God and saying that no matter what happened, I knew that He didn’t make me to be a quitter and he didn’t bring me to that place to leave me or to watch me fail, so I was going to choose to take the steps ahead of me(seriously, this was the precise moment I realized this in my personal life as well). I was having this crazy/amazing mental gratitude time and I decided that I was going to start running again and I was going to believe that God would allow me to run, so sure enough I started again and it hurt momentarily, but it went away and I was able to run for another 7 miles. Over and over again, I repeated the words, “when the darkness closes in Lord, still I will say, Blessed be The Name of The Lord.”